The Challenge of Being Honest with Yourself

Accountability tends to be the way in which we motivate ourselves or others in our journey. It's the reason why so many people are motivated to share their stories, and goals of the day. Sharing parts of ourselves is an out-loud way of making us accountable in our own lives. It gives us purpose. Most people wont be able to make any kind of progress without it.

Often times when trying to change a habit or feel safe, we share accountability with our friends, or family. Having a workout buddy can do wonders for getting your butt to the gym. Just the same as having a drinking buddy encourages you to drink more - or having a sober companion would probably keep you sober longer. Partnering on accountability can be beneficial - as long as your reliance is not fully on the other party. At the end of the day, we are the most dependable for ourselves, and we (should) be the ones who care the most about ourselves. Counting on someone else to get you going is a sign you might not make it too far. There are ways to be responsible for your own change, if you aren't already, and it involves some serious personal growth.

Everything we say or think is an opportunity to be responsible for who we are, and how we interact with others. One might say the simplest statement, I am doing this, or I am that, or this is my thing. How often do we say these things and actually question what we truly care about, and desire? It's self-limiting to say I am this, or that. You are doing a ton of things, you are what you are, and your "thing" is anything at any given moment. Believe that, and now you are limitless.

In order to be accountable for our actions we must reflect on who we are, and who we want to be. This allows us to be more honest with ourselves, and to find our truth. Any kind of change, or step forward, would be incomplete without questioning ourselves, and being honest about the answer. The result of being honest with ourselves is often confidence in who we are, and what we can do (whether or not you think that's good or bad). Low self-confidence is what happens to us when we've been told who we are, what we want, or how we behave. Low self-confidence comes from the abuse of not being free to express ourselves. By finding our own truth of who, what, and how we are, rather than looking at it through stained glass, we can see the fuller picture of ourselves. We are being honest, and in-turn, accountable for our own self-made definition. How can anyone be accountable for themselves in change, if they are not first honest with themselves?

Well, I don't think they can. In order to be the best version of myself and feel the best I could at no one else's expense, I had to make some serious life changes. But first I needed to figure out what those changes were, by being honest with myself.

How did I figure this out? I asked myself a lot of questions. What do I want? What do I deserve? What do I not want? What relationships give me a warm/positive feeling? What relationships are unhealthy for me? What am I good at? What do I want to be good at? What do I think I'm bad at but I'm probably not? What do I believe? What is a feeling I like to have? What should I give myself credit for?

I answered all of these questions, and more, by making lists. Lists of feelings I want to feel, and the kinds of people or things I want to feel from. Lots of lists. Lists of names of people in my life who have made me feel that warm/positive feeling. Lists of activities that make me feel positive about myself. Lists of gratitude.

The immediate result was changing relationships and habits based on the lists I made about 'negative feelings.' Sometimes that meant stopping those habits, or ending or taking a break from those relationships. That was really hard. I understood within myself that I loved, and was attached to these people and things, but I also knew that having them in my life was not healthy for me at that time.

Setting free what or who you love is hard, even when you know that not setting them free would be unhealthy. What I learned is that hard is necessary in order to be good to yourself. If something makes me feel so bad all the time, then why am I putting myself through it? It's not good for my soul. I at least need to do some self-care, and gain wisdom, before I put myself in a position to manage unhealthy situations.

My questions, and my lists were ways to help me sit back and try to think of my life from an unbiased perspective. I gave myself an honest opinion of my world and what it encompassed. After creating my lists, I committed to an all-out truth cleanse in my life. And the result? Nothing but positivity, confidence, and power over myself in my own life. Once you feel that, the truth is just getting started.

Affirmation

"Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly."

Franz Kafka (1883-1924)