The First Step to Healthy Living

The first step to healthy living is honesty. Changing lifestyles from A to B to C is a journey that varies for everyone. However, all forms of change require the breaking of one habit and the implementation of something positive in its place. Admitting that a change is needed is where honesty with yourself is the most powerful. Change involves a lot of hoping for what might be. Because by not knowing what will be, we have no control - and that's scary for some people.

When it comes to incorporating nuances into our daily lives there is going to be a mixture of emotions - anxiety, determination, feelings of failure, success, disappointment, guilt, confidence, ability, sadness, courage, wisdom, and then failure again. Loss of control is inevitable. But by letting go of the need for control, we free ourselves in a way that gives us authority in our lives. No, we're not in control of the universe, but we are in control of ourselves.

I have been overweight for all of my life. Overweight is all I ever thought I would be for a long time. My friends wouldn't comment on weight, because I voiced that I was self-conscious and any comments made would immediately cause a victimized reaction in me. Sometimes my best friend's dad would ask me about my working out, or hint that he felt I should be working out. As a person in constant self-denial, I just took his comments as well gee, what an incredibly insensitive thing to say, thank you for voicing your opinion about my appearance so openly. I was offended by it then, because I was unappreciative that he had the consideration to let me know that my weight gain and lifestyle had gone overboard. Saying the hard stuff shows love.

I was an active kid asking a big question. Why, no matter what I do, I can't seem to change this thing about me? The answer was simple - I did not want to change. This way of life was imbedded in me, internalized in a way that took a lot more than fitness and diet to change. I was settled into the size and shape my life had taken. Psychologically, every person is fighting a battle within themselves when it comes to change. It takes epiphany after epiphany - usually continually throughout life, for everyone - to finally reach the emotional, and behavioral balance that is their equilibrium. Not to mention, for every single change in one's life, one goes through the Transtheoretical Stages of Change. Some process faster than others, but the typical process continues as follows:

Stage 1: Pre-Contemplation. You are in total denial that there is something you need to change. You're not even thinking about it yet. Someone tells you that your habits are unhealthy or maybe a close friend shares concerns about something in your life. Your response? Probably something like, "thanks, but no thanks," "go fuck yourself," or "what do you know about my life?"

Stage 2: Contemplation. So, now you realize there is a problem but you're not ready to do anything about it. I bet that there's still a lot of emotions to work through. If you were to make a list of reasons why you should change you'd have a pretty even flow of pros and cons. But at least you're thinking about it.

Stage 3: Preparation (or Determination). Now, this is the part where you accept that there is a need to change, and the pros of change outweigh the cons. You might start telling people that you are working towards changing. We tend to tell people we're changing for accountability purposes - even when we don't follow through.

Stage 4: Action. After all that build up, this is when you start changing. Change is like a switch, you're either doing it or you're not. The action stage is the DOING part.

Stage 5: Maintenance/Relapse. Now that you have committed to the action, the goal is to maintain the change that you've implemented and you will definitely need maintaining - we want this change to last! Relapse, just like with addicts, is an expected, normal, often times necessary component to the changing process. Each time we relapse it takes a new inspiration, enlightnment, epiphany to get back to one of the previous stages. Relapsing never means that you have to start over from scratch - after all you've already learned and experienced so much at this point. Discounting how you got here would be a shame to your efforts. Try to forgive yourself for having a lapse in judgment or for maybe giving up on yourself for a second, and then get back on the horse at whatever stage you feel most comfortable. The lesson in relapse is to cut yourself some slack, and not beat yourself up over needing to try again.

Pre-contemplation -> Contemplation -> Preparation ->Action -> Maintenance ->Relapse

In my journey, I knew there was a need to change, and I knew that I wanted my outcome to be a reasonable size and average weight. But I did not want to work every day, I felt gross whenever I was sweating, and I had embraced the loud-mouth/oversized personality that I gave to myself in order to cover-up any insecurities I had. I was a comfortable Stage 2 for most of my life.

It wasn't until December 2012 that I had a life-changing conversation. I was speaking with someone I cared about who was morbidly obese for most of his life, and had health problems because of his lifestyle. At the talking point, my concern for his health had grown immensely and his weight had increased as well. I decided to do what my best friend's dad did, and word vomit all of my concerns in a completely unsensored format. I said to my friend, 'Aren't you concerned? You've been overweight most of your life, and every day you don't try to do something about it, every day you don't try to change, you are taking a day off of your life. You maybe have 10 years left - tops! at the rate you're going.'

Harsh, right?

Well believe it or not, the little speech I gave was my own wake-up call. During my speal I thought am I actively taking years off of my life too? I don't want to be your age and worrying about heart disease or diabetes, or any other problems. I need to nip this in the bud while I'm young, and capable. I have so much more living I could be doing. The very next day I began my journey towards healthy living. All I had to do was be honest with myself, and my body.

That's the thing about change. We have to realize for ourselves what is needed by being honest. Someone can't tell us we need to lose weight and then suddenly we start trying. We have to tell ourselves what is worth changing, and how we want to do it. We all have our own pace, and our own goals - those are ours. Keep them sacred.

Affirmation

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."

Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)